Poop problems
Toddler withholding poop: how to break the cycle
It often starts with one hard, painful poop. Your child holds the next one to avoid the pain, it gets bigger and harder, and the next poop hurts even more. Breaking this cycle comes first; potty training comes second.
What to do this week
- See your pediatrician. Soft poops are the goal, and they may suggest a stool softener. Don't start one without them.
- Daily relaxed poop sit after a meal, feet on a stool, knees above hips, blowing bubbles to help them relax.
- Take the pressure off completely. Diapers for poop are fine for now. The aim is poops that don't hurt.
What to say
“Your poop is soft now. It won't hurt. Let's let it out.”
Try not to say
“Stop holding it in!”
When to call your pediatrician
- No poop for 3 days or more
- Pain, crying or blood when pooping
- Poop leaks or smears in underwear
- Belly pain, swollen belly or poor appetite
More guides
- Poop problemsToddler pees on the potty but won't poop on itRead the guide
- Getting startedSigns your toddler is ready for potty trainingRead the guide
- Getting startedWhat's the best age to start potty training?Read the guide
- First daysHow many accidents are normal in the first week of potty training?Read the guide
Last reviewed October 26, 2026. Based on public guidance from the American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org) and the NHS. This is general information, not medical advice. If you're worried about your child's health, talk to your pediatrician.